Lesbians Sex : Most of us learn about sex through a heterosexual lens, which revolves around a penis entering the vagina. If you’ve ever wondered how lesbians have sex, the first thing to do is throw any preconceptions out the window.
“What society invents about lesbian sex is rarely how it updates,” she tells Health Shelby Sells, certified sex and life coach and resident sex expert at WOO More Play. Basically, lesbian sex doesn’t differ much from sex between two straight people, at least not in the ways that matter.
“Lesbians Sex” is a misnomer
It is important to understand that lesbian sex does not necessarily occur between two cisgender women who identify as lesbians.
In fact, “lesbian sex” is considered by some to be an outdated term for sex between two people identified as female, which could be two cis women, one cis woman and one trans woman, or two trans women.Lesbians Sex
“All of this (and more) is ‘lesbian’ sex,” SKYN Certified Sex Coach, Sexologist and Sex and Intimacy Expert Gigi Engle tells Health. “There is a gray area here and there is still a lot of debate around these issues.”
Still, she acknowledges that it can be argued that lesbian sex is just lesbian sex if it is between two people who consider themselves to be lesbians.
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Sells adds that gender and sexuality exist on a spectrum, and the most important thing is the intention behind the sexual connection, not the gender or sex you were assigned at birth.
“It is possible to identify as a woman and not have a vagina,” she says. “Our genitals do not define us or confine us to our identities. Sex between two women, women or women can be seen in different ways.”
Myths about lesbian sex
Many people view lesbian sex the way the mainstream porn industry makes it. “I feel like most lesbian sex has been commercialized and consumed through the lens of the male gaze, which ends up looking like two women scissoring [when a woman rubs her vulva against another woman’s body for sexual stimulation],” she says. Sells. Yes, some people enjoy this, but others do not get any pleasure from it.Lesbians Sex
“Another myth is that there are always ‘female’ and ‘male’ gender roles in a lesbian relationship (that is, a tomboy and a woman),” says Sells.
Some people believe that one person has to assume the role of “man” in sexual activity, doing all the penetration while the other person receives. Again, this is the preference of some couples, but definitely not all.
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Some people also dismiss lesbian sex as not “real” sex because they don’t believe penetration is possible. First of all, penetration is not necessary for sex to be “real”, whatever that means.
Second, sex between two women can certainly involve vaginal and / or anal penetration: with fingers, tongue, vibrators, and other types of sex toys, such as a strap-on.Lesbians Sex
So what are some of the ways that lesbians have sex?
Of course, everyone prefers a different kind of touch and stimulation, and lesbian sex encompasses a huge range of possibilities. Some couples enjoy deep kisses and hugs, others pleasure themselves through oral sex with tongues, mouths, and lips.
Again, lesbian sex can consist of penetration. Other things that can be a part of lesbian sex include fingering, clitoral play, anal play, fisting, breast and nipple play, use of sex toys, and genital rubbing.Lesbians Sex
Some people experiment with bondage and domination, as well as positions that require a lot of flexibility, such as scissors or 69. Lesbian sex can be hard and fast or slow and smooth.
There are a wide variety of styles and movements, and each couple can do it and define it in any way they want.Lesbians Sex
What are some tips for having lesbian sex?
The best advice is to ask your partner what is right for him. “If they’re not sure, ask if they’re willing to explore the pleasure maps with you,” Sells suggests.
(This is when you take the time to explore the “pleasure points” of both bodies to discover where and how you like to be touched). “It’s better to communicate than assume,” she says. “One technique does not fit all!”
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But when in doubt, the clitoris is the center of it all. “The clitoris is the center of the female orgasm,” Engle explains. “The vast majority of female orgasms are based on the clitoris in some way.
The glans of the external clitoris, that little bump you see at the top of the labia, has more than 8,000 nerve endings.”
She remembers that people find pleasure in different ways (and places!), So try to keep an open mind. “Creating an environment that is safe and comfortable allows a lot of room for sexual exploration and possibility,” Sells says.Lesbians Sex
Consent is crucial
This applies to any first sexual experience, regardless of the parts of the body that are involved or not. “Make sure you ask for consent before touching, licking, hitting, spitting, biting or sucking on anything,” Sells says.
This checks another important box. “Communication is key and it is also very sexy,” she adds. So take the time to ask your sexual partner what makes you feel good and show him what makes you feel good.Lesbians Sex
Is there a danger to lesbian sex?
The only risk to be aware of is the same risk that also affects sexual relations between heterosexual couples: STIs. Lesbian sex can transmit STIs through skin-to-skin contact (HPV, herpes) or by sharing bodily fluids (chlamydia and gonorrhea, among others), even if there is no penis in the picture.
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Because HPV is possible, it is important to get regular Pap tests and / or the HPV vaccine to protect against cervical cancer, which is caused by HPV.Lesbians Sex